More Than Words

Mother’s Day warmed my heart.  In the morning, soon after waking, I was told by my husband to go and check the baby’s bassinet for “something.”  I found a homemade card lying there which had been colored and read “Happy Mother Day” in childlike handwriting.  Upon opening the card, I found a childlike message written on the inside from our little babe in the womb which brought me to tears.  I was so moved, and my husband proved to be the most sweet and thoughtful man in the world (yet again).  Even though I do not feel like a mother quite yet, that gesture alone brought me a lot closer to feeling like I am.

The day wasn’t just about me though - it was about the other moms in my life too.  My husband and I hosted his parents for a pancake breakfast, I was able to call and talk with my mom about motherhood, and at mass that evening a special blessing was said over all mothers (and those expecting).  I also thought of Mary, our Heavenly mother, and how it was her day too.  She has been of great support and comfort throughout my pregnancy as I have been wearing her Miraculous Medal around my neck for some time now.  It’s great to have her guidance.

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My husband and I have recently found great entertainment in watching the baby move in my stomach.  We wonder what’s going on in there!  It’s so funny to watch and at the same time a little creepy :)  As of today, there’s between 7-10 weeks left (if not a little more - or less) until the baby comes!  Ahh!  So crazy to think that we are at this point already.  My pregnancy has been going so fast, and thankfully it has been pretty easy, so I’m sure that contributes to the fact that I haven’t noticed how quick it has been going.

Despite my excitement and willingness to welcome a new member into our family in about 3 months, I have recently also had feelings of just the opposite.  I grieve over my life before the pregnancy: who I was, what I was doing, where I wanted to go.  I feel that I will never truly get any of that back: my body is lost forever, I will never be the same person, I cannot see what my future will be like.  I have always been a relatively independent and self-sufficient person, and now I will never be alone and someone will always be counting on me.

It probably doesn’t help either that I put myself into areas of comparison.  Social media can be a curse, and I often fall to temptation of comparing my life and myself to those I know who are baby-less.  On the other hand, I have found inspiration from a few “social media moms” and look to their example daily with hope and excitement in knowing that a child will bring me lots of new things I have never experienced.

I can’t seem to get out of this rut of feeling guilty, sorry for myself, and angry.  I know it’s just a phase, and most of the time I am doing well, but there are moments that hit me and I think back to my old life.  I can’t seem to shake it.  But, I am doing my best to take things day by day and live in the present as much as possible.  And I keep reminding myself that each day I am dying to my old self and in doing so I am creating a new life within Christ, for Christ.  Plus, these movements and kicks that I feel inside are a reminder that things will be alright - life will go on, that I have so much to look forward to, and that my priorities and plans are different now and will have to change.  And I’m sure once the baby comes, my negative feelings won’t matter anymore and I will gladly fall into my role as a mother :)

So keep me in your prayers these last few months!  Baby, husband, and I will all need them and appreciate them!

Well, I’m officially a grown-up.  As if being twenty-four, married, and pregnant didn’t already prove that, I am now a car owner.  My husband and I were lucky enough to purchase a vehicle just a few days short of having to return my current leased vehicle!   We are truly blessed that we have been able to make this decision and that everything worked out for us.  I have only owned one other car, but that wasn’t for a very long time, and then I have been leasing an SUV for the past two years, but that’s not the same as having ownership.  We are so excited!  Next comes baby, and then hopefully a house within the next year! :)

I was out shopping with a friend at Goodwill today and found a few baby clothes for cheap!  They were just so cute that I couldn’t resist!  And being that they were so cheap I knew I wouldn’t be breaking the bank.  It was actually the first time that I have shopped for the baby (we got a lot of items from family members so there hasn’t been a huge need to shop yet), and it was fun!  It’s much easier to shop for a baby than it is for me these days ;)  Getting things for the babe makes me more and more excited for his/her arrival!

I never thought I’d be one to want to be a “stay at home mom.” In all my years I’ve preached about working, focusing on a career, and wanting to work because I’d be bored at home taking care of a baby.

But lately, my feelings towards this subject have changed a little bit. I’ve expressed my desire to “want” to stay at home with the baby to my husband and even he said, “I never thought I’d hear you say that.” Yeah. Me either. But I feel like I would be a terrible mother if I give birth and then a few weeks later say, “peace” and leave the baby. Poor thing! Now I’m beginning to think that it would be fun to stay at home so that the baby and I can connect and hang out and do our own thing (and not having to work would be a relief).

Ideally, I’d like to stay home for about six months to one year (while the baby is most precious and most developing!) and then go back to work; maybe even working part-time during that six month to one year period. I don’t know. Guess we’ll see how the next few months go. Who knew that someone so small and precious could make you rethink your decisions and make you want to become such a selfless person?! But I guess that happens when you fall in love ;)

My husband and I had a wonderful Easter holiday this year. My sister and mom came over from the east side of the state to stay and celebrate with us. It was so nice to see them and it was nice to be with family. My sister and mom haven’t seen me in awhile so they were happy to experience the baby belly :) I was particularly happy to have received some candy in my Easter basket, and my husband got me a photo album of some of our wedding pictures which was lovely. My husband and I played homemakers this weekend (more than we usually do), but it was a lot of fun! My mom even commented to me, “you are such a homemaker.”  I try to be :)

Saturday night my husband, my sister, and I celebrated Easter Vigil at our parish. Neither my sister nor I have been to an Easter Vigil mass and although it was a long service, it was a good way to ring in the Resurrection. We were also able to witness the baptism/confirmation of the Candidates and Catechumans that were in the RCIA group of which my husband is a team member which was cool to see. I love seeing others voluntarily and joyfully accepting Christ and wanting to be part of the Catholic faith, especially.

Happy Easter to all! He is risen!

Check out my newly added page, “There They Lie.”  A hilarious picture blog about my husband’s socks!

According to one of the many pregnancy emails that I receive weekly, today marks 99 days until we are due to welcome Baby Woodbeck!  I had to check the My Pregnancy app on my phone to make sure that number was correct!  For some reason, seeing that number really sort of freaked me out.  Obviously I knew that this would come eventually, but somehow I thought I had more time.  Thankfully, we do have enough time still to continue preparing for the baby’s arrival - we are excited to meet him/her!

Earlier this evening, my husband and I attended our first (out of four) childbirth class.  We were a little unwilling to go (mostly because we didn’t want to spend our evening in a classroom), but the class actually turned out to be much better than we thought.  It was nice to be in a room with others who are also going through the same journey we are, and we were able to obtain some more information that we can use to prepare us for the big day.  For the past few months, however, we have been doing our own research and reading as to what kind of birth plan we want, pros/cons of certain procedures, and the like, and going to these classes sounded like a waste to us because we already have a pretty good idea how we want things to go and feel pretty informed and confident enough already. My sister-in-law recommended that I read a book by a midwife named Ina May Gaskin about natural childbirth and it has been a great resource for me and my husband in a lot of different ways.  Her book, out of those I have read thus far, has been the most informative, most reliable, and most reassuring.  I hope to continue to read other of her books pre and post natal.

So…99 days to go.  After going to the childbirth class tonight, I can relax knowing that I have a lot more time than most of the other moms in the room! :)  I feel as though today we have reached a milestone since we are now down to the double digits.

Anonymous asked: Okay, here is your "old" roomie asking this personal question. In your faith journey, were you ever not "pro life"? Just curious if before you came to Aquinas you maybe were not so full of life as you are now!

I’ve always been “pro-life,” but I have not always been “pro-children.” For a long time I didn’t want kids (even as marriage was becoming my future), but once I got married and pregnant I became more accepting of it (after some time). I had to! I couldn’t go back to my old self anymore! And being so in love with someone takes those fears away too :)

Back In Action!

Recently, I have been itching to get back into the blogging game!  So, I revamped my blog and hope to be more consistent at posting from now on.

For those of you who are new to the blog, take a look at my “biography” section for a little bio about me, and feel free to “ask” questions.

A little more about me: I have been newly married to my best friend for a little over five months, and we are expecting our first child near the end of July.  I am twenty-five weeks pregnant with our little bundle and we are excited to welcome him/her to our family!  It has been quite the experience so far (and much easier than I thought it would be!).  Also, I work full-time at a Catholic social services organization, and volunteer at our parish where I help to decorate the church for important masses and other liturgical events.  And lastly, as a resident of the Great Lakes state, I am happy that spring is upon us and that my little family and I can finally get outside for fresh air and exercise!

That’s all for me today… it’s time to enjoy what’s left of my lazy Sunday.

Happy Palm Sunday!

It’s been almost two weeks since I got married to my best friend. And so far, we are having a great time! Although not much has changed, my husband and I do enjoy living together now. It really makes things so much easier. For the past three and a half years it was a constant “how are you getting home tonight? Who should drive where? Fine, I’ll get up and take you home. No, don’t ride the bus or walk. Maybe you should just stay here so I don’t have to get out. Ok, I’ll stay tonight so you don’t have to drive late so long as you can take me home the next day.”

Glad we are done with that.

But anyway, the wedding day was perfect! Much better than I could have asked for. My husband and I still can’t believe its over already! We had such a fun time with family and friends. The honeymoon was awesome! I didn’t want to come back from California to cold Michigan. I would love to live in CA, especially in the fall/winter months.

Now that we are married, we can move on to things we have been putting off because of the busyness of planning. I am looking forward to planning goals (whether personal or as a couple) that will now occupy our lives and give us direction for our life together.